Choosing Your Groomsmen

Ever played pick-up football with your best friends? Remember how hard it was to pick some and not others for your team? Welcome to picking your groomsmen, only here, you’re not judging them on their athletic prowess, and you are limited in how many of your friends can be on the team.

Instead of starting with a concrete number it’s a better idea to make the quick and dirty list first. Chances are real good that should be your final list. Unfortunately, you have to then match up the number of bridesmaids on the other side of the aisle with your groomsmen...it starts getting complicated.

Guidelines for choosing your groomsmen:

Unless you’ve got an obvious issue with them that would turn your party into a war, always include your brothers and hers as well. (Unless there are a large number of brothers.)

Parties lose their significance above eight. Try to stick to this number and urge your bride to do the same.

Apply the all-or-none rule for friends that run in the same circles so you don’t have to play favorites.

If you’re having an especially hard time, consider sticking just to a best man.

There is no rule that says the bride and groom must have an equal number of attendants, but it is preferrable that they do for the pagentry of it all.

Your Bachelor Party (Do's and Do Not's)

Whether you’re the best man looking for ideas or the groom wondering what to expect, here are some bachelor party tips:

Here’s the one part of the planning process that is actually fun, especially for the best man! Further, the best news for the groom is that you don’t have to plan a thing – your best man does.

After giving the best man the nod, offer up some guidelines for what you want from your bachelor party...a little guidance is always a good thing if you want your party to meet your expectations. Remember “guidelines” do not mean telling him exactly what you want down to the type of beer and the color hair of the strippers. This is supposed to be his tribute to you, so let him plan a few surprises for you. But giving him something to go on is key to making him as your best man feel important, and a part of your big day.

Bachelor Party Bible

Whether you’re a best man or the groom, here are some tips on what and what not
to do:

Don’t plan the party for the night before the wedding.

Don’t antagonize the bride, but don’t bow down to her either...this is
the GROOMS night with his buddies. This goes for both the best man and groom.

If you’re the best man, get help (including financial)from the other
guys to help plan, pay for and pull off the party.

Send out the invites
(email is fine) at least six to eight weeks before the event. Yes, you need to
send out invitations.

Buy bachelor party favors as keepsakes from an
epic night of adventure and fun as you send the groom off to his new life.

Alternative Bachelor Party Ideas

More and more grooms and their best man are opting for something different than the stereotypical bachelor. No surprise since strippers and a splitting headache do little for lasting memories spent with your best buds.

• Whitewater rafting
• Skydiving
• Golf outings
• Overnight at a cabin in the woods or other remote location
• RV Road Trip – Put the party on wheels.

Tips For Toasting

Toasting Tips

There’s nothing better than a great toast,and nothing worse than a torturous or inappropriate one. Here are some helpful hints to handle the speeches whether you’re a groom or best man.

The Right Time

The best man’s moment is obvious even predestined, but a groom often wants to give a shout out to those who have made this day possible or to share a sweet (and short) story about the love of his life. (How you met or the moment you first knew you loved her is always a good and safe one.) The best times for such a speech are either when the rehearsal dinner is winding down if you want it to be a little more intimate or emotional moment, or to conclude the reception speeches.

What to Say (and not to say)

Always thank the groom and bride’s parents.

Thank the guests as they make the day what it truly is.

Look for a particular anecdote that quickly emphasizes a point you’re trying to make.

For the best man:

A moment when the groom’s personality truly shined.

Funny is always good, but dirty or too risqué always falls flat.

Inside jokes in front of hundreds of family and friends are pointless too.

Speaking Tips

Think back to other times when you gave a speech. How nervous were you, and what calmed you down? Did you get on a roll using cues or was it better when you were speaking off the cuff? Let these past speaking engagements act as your roadmap, your past being your guide as to how much time, thought, and effort you need to put into preparing for the speech. Beyond that, here are some tips:

Think of what you want to say at least a day or two before the wedding.

Your subject is something (someone) dear to your heart. Let that guide you.

Avoid memorizing or typing out your speech. Instead, use note cards and practice your speech a few times to find your rhythm.

Perhaps the most important thing about a toast is its brevity. Keep it to 2-3 minutes max. Get to the heart of the matter quickly, and get out.